Throughout our lives, we’ll have many difficult conversations. We may need to have a performance conversation with an employee as an employer. As a part of a family, we may need to give a kid bad news about the affordability of their chosen college. With our parents, it may be about various end-of-life situations, including finances, will-writing, and preplanning of their Celebration of Life wishes. Having that difficult conversation is not something to avoid. But, at the same time, it’s also something to be done with grace and gentleness.
Here are a few tips to help you have that difficult conversation so that the lines of communication stay open throughout the process.
Write down your thoughts and concerns first.
Before you start a difficult conversation, make some notes for yourself first. Write down the areas you’d like to clarify or anything you’re worried about. This can take on many forms. Some may be concerned about an aging parent and their finances. For others, it may be more generalized concerns.
Regardless of what you want to discuss, be sure to know beforehand what you want to discuss before approaching the topic.
Make a list of questions you have for them.
Another bit of prep work is to write down a list of questions you have for them. One mother told her daughter she did not want a particular color at her Celebration of Life service. Is this a detail you know about your family members? Do they want a particular style of music to be played? Or would they like a non-traditional Celebration of Life service? Write down these questions in advance to show them it's all about their wishes.
Don’t expect to tackle everything all at once.
This is an important and simple tip: know that this might be a multi-session conversation. Having that difficult conversation means that it may take a while to approach the subject and even longer to get everyone on board with it in the first place. Work slowly and patiently.
Find ways to show love and genuine concern.
Along those lines, ensure that every aspect of this conversation demonstrates your love and desire to fulfill their wishes. Look for small things you can say to show your concern for them, either through direct dialogue or phrasing certain statements in a way that shows compassion.
Having that difficult conversation can help keep everyone on the same page.
As difficult as it may be to begin discussing topics like these, they help make life transitions easier to deal with. They open the door to communication and help ensure everyone’s needs and desires are fully met.
Another way of having that difficult conversation is to work with our team. We’ve spent many years bridging the gap that can be extremely difficult to navigate. If you’d like to learn more, give our office a call, and we’ll arrange a time to have a sit-down and start some preliminary, early chats about what these details might look like.
Call us today at 937-653-4227, or message us on our website to share your thoughts.